Wednesday, April 15, 2009

He is just not that into me

He finally said goodbye. I asked him yesterday when I could see him again and he replied with a smiley:

:-(

I'm glad the chase is over. I am not sourgraping but I don't think issues-laden bagets can replace my LTR. Just when I was about to tell him that I had a bf, he stopped communicating. Weird, He must have sensed it. His timing was impeccable.

Forwarded text message:

Sometimes you just want to quit when things start hurting you. Ypu want to leave everything as it is before the pain gets worse. But once you remember how much you've prayed, how much you really want it, and why you are fighting in the first place; hope comes back into your heart. And maybe, just maybe . . .

it is worth going this far.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Back to work

Everyone is on work mode again. My holiday break has been peppered by bitter unanswered calls and unreplied text messages, flavored with a dash of sweet and romantic french kisses, and topped by warm tobacco-filled evening conversations.

Si J kasi mapang-akit pero pakipot. He was such a teaser.







Too bad he doesn't tease me anymore. :-(

Friday, April 10, 2009

New Jay in my life

Funny how the Jay (probably not his real name) I was pining for last month got replaced by a new one whose name starts with J as well. And I've got a theme song for him:


Insomnia by Craig David

I never thought that I'd fall in love, love, love, love
But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush
Being without you girl, I was all messed up, up, up, up
When you walked out, said that you'd had enough-nough-nough-nough
Been a fool, girl I know
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time, you'll change your mind
Now looking back i wish i could rewind
Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more
Oh i stay up til you're next to me
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Remember telling my boys that I'd never fall in love, love, love, love
You used to think I'd never find a girl I could trust, trust, trust, trust
And then you walked into my life and it was all about us, us, us, us
But now I'm sitting here thinking I messed the whole thing up, up, up, up
Been a fool (fool), girl I know (know)
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time (time), you'll change your mind (mind)
Now looking back i wish i could rewind
Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before (Because it)
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah (Ah), Feels like insomnia ah ah
Ah, i just can't go to sleep
Cause it feels like I've fallen for you
It's getting way too deep
And i know that it's love because
I can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
I met him in the same place where I met Jay 1. We hung out in his place twice, for two consecutive nights. He was very sweet. We were just kissing and groping each other the whole time. I didn't want to go all the way without him telling me his real name and me telling him that I actually have a boyfriend (whose name starts with ...... J!). We were suppposed to meet again the next evening but he never showed up. No phone calls, no text messages. I am wondering why.
Mahirap talaga pag bagets. Pabago-bago ng isip.

Friday, March 13, 2009

FOR GOOD

FOR GOOD from Wicked

(Elphaba):
I'm limited
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us - now it's up to you...

(Glinda):
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda):
Because I knew you

(Both):
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda):
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba):
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both):
Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda):
And because I knew you...

(Elphaba):
Because I knew you...

(Both):
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...

*********************

he asked me to listen to this song while we were having dessert. it was sweet sharing earphones but i knew we had very little time left together. i miss him now.

ILANG KAISIPAN

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo langpansinin."

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo. Dapat lumandi ka din."

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meronlang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o gwapo. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

16. "Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala"

17. "Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan"

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lang yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin monaman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo angmay kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

19. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal…nakakatakot mahulog…at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.

I LOVE NUMBER 10!

UNREQUITED

A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.

- Abraham Cowley

LEO WITH SAGITTARIUS

Star Sign Compatibility Reading

When Leo and Sagittarius join together in a love match, the result is often fireworks! Both Signs are extremely dynamic and enjoy life to the fullest. This couple is full of life and fun to be around, with each person encouraging the other to aim high! Sagittarius's philosophical tendency warrants a distraction to Leo's obsession with the larger-than-life. The two will have genuine admiration and respect for one another. Both are warm, charismatic and charming; people enjoy being in the energy this couple radiates. You share an active, dynamic, mobile and assertive lifestyle. You're each somewhat special and lead some sort of a charmed life. Each of you is usually competitive, flamboyant, positive and life affirming. To create success together create a common vision of the future. Your star-struck attraction for each other is natural and will turn out to be very exciting and potentially long-lasting. Sagittarius, the adventurous Archer, is the ideal partner for the regal Lion. Leo will be enthralled by that fun-loving, no-nonsense approach, while Sagittarius will be enchanted by your sunny, open disposition and warm-hearted inner strength. You have an instinctive understanding of each other's deepest needs and are both quite open in matters of sexual fulfilment, with no fear of physicality.


The Lion is ruled by the shining Sun and the Archer is ruled by fortunate Jupiter. The Sun, centre of our solar system, is the ruler of the heart, so in return for your loyalty and warmth, Sagittarius is more than happy to let Leo be the centre of attention. Jupiter is spiritually inclined, so sex for the Archer can be a doorway into higher awareness (as well as being great fun!). Sagittarius is anything but conservative in sexual matters and is a sucker for the new and exotic, especially things redolent of adventure and far-away places. Making plans for travel at the drop of a hat, or intimate accounts of personal experiences in foreign parts will get the Archer's juices running. At heart, Leo is practically perfect. The ancients have said that Leo is entitled to the Lion's share of fun. Leo needs to roar with pride, both on centre stage and in the bedroom. By developing willpower, Leo can find creative ways to get into the spotlight and shine. Leo is playing the game of life stakes higher than Leo may realize. To win points, Sagittarius can treat Leo to a most excellent piece of gold jewellery. Leo also appreciates Sagittarius' undivided attention.

Both Signs can be impatient but endearing, and Leo may be annoyed by Sagittarius's flirting, but there's never a dull moment in their relationship. Sagittarius sees the world as a textbook they must study from, while Leo acts as the gracious host. Both are extremely social, but it is vitally important to Leo that they feel that they are in control of the conversation. Leo is the Lion, the leader, while Sagittarius is the Archer, slowly taking the time to survey their target and feel the nuances of difference in their approach. Both Signs are usually respected by others, and it's important that each remembers to treat the other with the utmost respect as well. Essentially Sagittarius is a good sport. The question is, "What's your game Sagittarius?" Sagittarius needs to aim high and roam free. Folks tend to like the naturally enthusiastic Sagittarius. Sagittarius can cultivate tolerance and thus be able to get along with many different types of people. Sagittarius can get the power of positive thinking to work overtime. To do so, Sagittarius must clarify ideals and pursue life with a spirit of adventure.

Leo is ruled by the Sun and Sagittarius is ruled by the Planet Jupiter. Both are masculine energy archetypes, and together they make a good combination -- they understand one another because they are so similar. The Sun is about Self and Jupiter is about expansion and excess, together providing a personal and outward focus on themselves and the world, although sometimes they can overexert themselves. They're highly compatible with lots of energy, and can be a wonderful couple in any setting or situation. Jupiter loves excitement and finding new horizons, but is happy to be the power behind the throne. The Big Cat loves to shine and to be admired - and Sagittarius is happy to oblige, though sometimes can get a little tired of Leo’s constant need for stroking. Since honesty is the key for Sagittarius, this means your personal Archer can be quite tactless, with foot-in-mouth "honesty" that will irk Leos vanity. Keep your mighty claws sheathed and be magnanimous. The benefits of this relationship far outweigh such petty irritations.

Sagittarius, a Mutable Sign, needs a stronger, more stable partner, while Leo, a Fixed Sign, needs to be opened to greater possibilities. Sagittarius brings something of a spiritual quality to the partnership, while your grand sense of propriety can smooth the rough edges of your lover's sometimes awkward social personality. Sagittarius is light-hearted and focused on the next big adventure, and can easily bypass the negatives and focus on the positives. Even when Leo is at your petulant and demanding worst, Sag will duck your swipes and divert you with scent of the next great adventure. Your deep strength and powerful heart give a great backup to the Archer, whose natural optimism and willingness to take risks suits your own outward-looking personality. Together you make a great team. This relationship will be exciting and potentially long-lasting. It's a perfect match.

BAGAY PALA KAMI!